punted

*groans*
Do not read further if you have zero tolerance for silliness...


Three brothers asked their mother to think of a name for their cattle ranch.
She suggested Focus Ranch, which rather puzzled them until she explained that "'Focus' means where the sun's rays meet."

A:"Knock,Knock."
B:"Who's there?"
A:"Eskimo Christian Italian."
B:"Eskimo Christian Italian who?"
A: "Eskimo Christian Italian no lies."

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much.
The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Becky, a gold miner's daughter, dearly loved Clem, but was too shy to tell him.
One day she learned that Clem was about to marry someone else, so she got her courage up and decided to find Clem, stop the wedding if necessary, and tell him how she felt. She had saddled her horse and was about to leave, when her father appeared and wanted to know why she was in such a hurry.

"Oh, father," cried Becky, "I hope I can find my darling Clem in time!"

What did the little red tractor say to the big green tractor?
Why don't get you get a little closer, John Deere?

Did you see the movie about the cannibal that ate his mother-in-law?
It was named Gladiator.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.

Goats in France are musical because they have french horns.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.


And just one more:

"A good pun is its own reword."