living dead

Sometimes I wonder if being a generation Christian has made me a inert believer.
I understand, not only with my mind but also with my heart and soul the cost of my salvation – and yet there too often there is an emptiness felt. All those bible studies/talks/prayer meetings/revival rallies and still a vast feeling of nothing.

Ever heard of the phrase : familiarity breeds contempt ?

Contempt. That’s a word you link to dislike, scorn, disdain, low-class, hate.
Not to a God who is love.
And yet that’s the very attitude I‘ve had for so many years. Not so much so of hate and dislike but rather a contempt of the usual. A contempt fueled by pride, arrogant and conceit. An attitude of “Oh, Jesus again?”
The pride of thinking that I knew all about God there was to know ….when all I have is this superficial idea (!) of Him which is molded to suit my tastes.

How much the cost of forgiveness? How hard the journey back to him?

“To the angel of the church of Ephesus write: These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven lampstands :I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet this I hold against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place…He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is the paradise of God.”
Revelation 2:1-5,7